A Timely Warning

I read this the other day; useful advice. I thought I would share it.

Important Health Advisory for Women

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?






If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!


















MY LIVING WILL


Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.