Things To Look For In A First First Date

There is something quite daunting about going out with someone for the very first time. You make more effort than usual with your appearance, you anxiously wait for him to come to your door to pick you up, you nervously say "hello" and you head off on your first romantic rendezvous.

So many things can turn a magical night into a complete disaster. Like the poor soul who went out to dinner with a man and in the middle of what she thought was an interesting, lively conversation, she found she was talking to a man who was asleep, brought to her attention by the sudden drop of his head towards his plate. Another unfortunate girl went out with a guy who spent all night talking in sordid detail about how much he loves dirty massages and later proceeded to go to the bathroom in front of his date in the alley when they walked outside the restaurant. Ughh! This one makes one want to take a shower.

These are some of the horror stories ladies are sharing on the web. These tales depict obvious signs that the man may not be the greatest catch, but what about more subtle clues? Do you know what to be wary of on that first date?

1) He takes a friend on the date.

Why would a mature man need his buddy when taking a lady out unless he was still in high school?

2) He appears intoxicated or high.

If a man necessitates alcohol or drugs to cope with anything it is a clue that there is a potential for serious issues that are not worth getting involved with. Life with someone who has a chemical dependency is grueling.

3) Appears suspiciously nervous.

Butterflies are normal on a first date but extreme fidgeting and nervousness is a good reason to be wary. Has he double booked the date? Is he cheating on someone? Is he wanted by the police?

4) He's very friendly to a lot of women.

No need to panic with this one as he may just have a lot of female friends which is not a bad thing as it demonstrates that he gets along well with women, but be on your guard as this could also mean he may be a player.

5) He flirts with the waitress or asks someone else to dance.

This is where you must not make excuses for him. He is not being friendly. You deserve better than a guy that will not give you his undivided attention especially on the first date!

6) He's rude.

Do you want to go everywhere a second time just to apologize for his behavior?

7) Tells you straight away that he is not looking for something serious or tells you immediately that he is looking for a wife.

He may be a "commitaphobic" or plain desperate. Either way, statements like these indicate someone who is afraid and possibly emotionally immature.

8) Talks a lot about his ex or tells you he came out of a relationship last month.

Be warned! He may not be over his previous relationship and this scenario spells D.A.N.G.E.R. Most people need time to recover from a broken relationship especially a long term one. You don't want to be the "rebound" girl.

9) Talks constantly about himself.

It's not "all about me" it should be about "us".

10) Does not appear to listen to what you have to say.

This is just plain rude. See warning no 9. A guy like this seems to care a little too much about himself. To be distracted when someone is conversing with you reveals selfishness and disrespect.

11) Says he doesn't like kids.

This is fine if you don't have any desire to ever procreate, but an observation such as this one on a first date implies fear and childishness. (Pardon the pun).

12) He's 35 and still lives with his parents.

You've got to ask why? A moocher perhaps? Too juvenile to get his own place? Beware...

13) He invites you to dinner and expects you to pay.
Has he "forgotten his wallet?" Does he take a calculator out of his pocket to check the bill and proceeds to itemize everything he consumed? Some believe that if a man extends an invitation for a meal he should be the one to pay for it, although splitting the tab is fine. Look out for a man who appears too attached to his money.

14) Glances at himself in mirrors and windows.

He is obviously a self involved jerk.

15) Expects to have sex with you at the end of the evening and gets angry if you refuse.

This may be the same man who says is not looking for a serious relationship. Immature, fearful and just not very nice. The type you should definitely avoid.

"Why do I keep meeting these jerks?" you ask. Hate to break it to you, but you probably always will, the idea is not to give them a second date! Look at it this way: bad dates are not failures, they are lucky escapes!