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Hello! My name is Paula and I love to write. I have an affinity for words and I want to tell tales about life and share experiences. I now have my very own canvas. I’m so excited! I have wanted to be an author since I was a child. I graduated from the Morris Journalism Academy in 2007. It’s funny how sometimes your passions are put on the back burner, while life goes on. You have probably heard the line “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans”, (is it from a song? Not sure). I am blessed with the gifts of time and space now, and here I am doing what I love.Check out some of my articles.. Happy reading!


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Differences Between Men and Women. Are We Really From Different Planets?


“Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.”

We’ve all heard of the Venus and Mars concept discovered by Dr John Gray about 15 years ago when he authored "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" which has been published in over 45 languages throughout the world. People sure can relate to his views. I did wonder for a while how could this be. We both have an intelligent brain why can’t he see what I see? The problem, I discovered much later is not that he can’t see; it is that we are just ‘wired’ very differently and instead of fighting our genetic distinctions we should embrace them or we will never get along together. Take a look at this scenario:

I am having a tough day and my computer isn’t working properly. I have just had another ‘freeze’ and lost half of my work. It is very frustrating. So I walk out of my office and go to the lounge where I find him sprawled on the couch watching the football. My eyes are stinging and I am sure I am going to cry.

Lots of thoughts are running through my mind, “Why is this happening to me? I have loads of work to do and the stupid machine is playing up… I haven’t earned any money yet this month … Oh, my, looks at this mess! Why does he not clean it up? I am so tired… Are those the lunch dishes?”

By the time I reach him I am quite emotional and it all comes blurting out, the PC hassles and his lack of domestic discipline. He looks up and says, “Calm down what is your problem?” So he gets another lengthy description of all my ‘problems’. Without a word he gets up and proceeds to clean up the disarray as he hands me a business card. “I know this guy; he should sort your computer out, OK?” He smiles, and once the chores are only half completed he resumes the loafing position in front of the TV. Problems solved right?

Wrong! I am still pretty annoyed and by this time I am crying. He gives me this look, “What the…?” He does not understand he really does not get it. Looking at the situation from his male perspective he has just resolved all my concerns, so why on earth aren’t I happy and let him watch the game in piece?

That is the number one difference between the sexes. I, the female, feeling overwhelmed wanting emotional support first, practical help second. He has no idea what emotional support is, but being a kind soul offers to help as he sees it. I ask again for sensitivity, “Tell me how to do it and I will do it”, he cries. “How can I tell you…GRRR!” I scream as I run out of the room leaving my partner scratching his head wondering how on earth he can make things right again and why he’ll never understand women.

The point is that we are inherently different and no one is good or bad, just not the same. We often forget that and therefore have expectations of each other that will never be met. Here is a list of differences between men and women. They are generalizations and there are of course exceptions to every rule:

• Why is it that if a man is cooking dinner and the phone rings he cannot do both things at the same time? Even if the phone does not ring there’s a chance that the whole meal will not be ready at the same time. It is the lack of the ‘multitasking gene’ in the male species. We can cook, talk on the phone, wipe Johnny’s nose and check our emails all at once. I know, girls, it is beyond us why the guys can’t do it, but trust me the boys just don’t have the same genetic material.

• This brings me to the ‘mechanical gene’. Yes guys rightly so. We girls do not generally posses the ability to put the vacuum cleaner back together again after we have taken it apart let alone differentiate components of an engine; nor do we want to.

• Men speak short sentences. Women speak monologues. In “The Female Mind” by Dr Luan Brizendine it says that women devote more brain cells to talking than men and that women talk almost three times as much as men. Ladies churn out around 20,000 words a day compared to men’s 13,000. According to Dr Brizendine’s book females speak a lot more quickly, like to hear the sound of their own voices and devote more brain cells to talking. The book goes as far to compare the rush women get when they are talking to that felt by a heroin addict.

• Women are just so much more emotional "Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road," says Dr Brizendine.

“He does not listen!” Another finding by Dr Brizendine is that testosterone reduces the size of the section of the brain required for hearing resulting in the lack of attention women receive from men, This is also explains why men don’t enjoy a good chat like women do.

• When they are troubled women want a shoulder, nodding sympathy and a good whinge. Men offer practical solutions only.

• Women are just more 'interested'. My partner comes home and announces as a matter of fact, “Sam and Wendy are separating.” I say in alarmed surprise, "Oh no! What happened?” to which he replies, “Dunna know.” I say, "He’s your best friend did you not ask him? Is he ok?” To this he states, “Sure if he wasn’t he would say so.” Noticing my concern he decides to visit Sam and upon his arrival hands him a beer and sits next to him in front of the TV and not a word is spoken until one of them gets up, goes to the refrigerator, turns to the other and asks, “Want another one?” and that is it! No shoulder or sympathetic comforting. A woman on the other hand would have been talking it over on the phone for a good three hours even before the best friend arrived with chocolate, wine, tissues and lots of time.

• Women need to talk over problems. Men do not. Women expect men to be like their girlfriends and discuss issues at length. Women feel good talking about problems. Dr John Gray says, “If a guy started to talk about his concerns to a bunch of guys he would be shunned as the reaction would be, ‘Why would you want to talk about problems? That would bring everyone down!’ Guys seem to think that the way to bring a woman up is to go down with her”.

• Women can use sex as a weapon as it is what men want. We all know most females need to have emotions with sex, whereas most men can make do with just the physical.

• Women tend to think about consequences before taking unnecessary risks, men are generally more ‘act now, think later.’

• Girls start to outgrow toys as they approach their teens. Men do not.

• Unlike women men do not like to admit they have made a mistake or ask for directions.

• Men use the phone for short communications. Women love talking on the phone for hours even if they have just returned from that person’s house half an hour ago.

• To a woman a shed is an ugly looking makeshift building to store things in. To a man it is his sanctuary. (Go figure!)

• When a man decides to go out, he is ready. A woman needs at least an hour’s notice (minimum!)

• A woman’s shelf in the bathroom has 255 different shaped of bottles on it. A man has just 1 bottle of aftershave.

• A man can go away for a week and take only hand luggage on the plane. A woman requires a suitcase she had to sit on in order to zip up, plus an empty one to bring the shopping home and of course the hand luggage would be full.

• For most women there is no such thing as a one night stand but the start of 'something'.

• Men can sleep through vacuum cleaners, stereos and babies screaming. Women wake up just before the baby starts to cry.

• Men go to the bathroom alone and do not speak to other males while quickly doing the business. For women it is a social event and a chance to have a good gossip away from the guys.

• Women make a lot of decisions and have the skill to make a man think he is in charge at all times.

There. I feel better now that I have expressed how I feel; after all it is emotionally challenging to express these concerns… Guys! Guys are you paying attention? And YOU, yes YOU, why do you have your hands over your ears singing La…La... La… And YOU... I do wish you would let go of the remote while you are asleep.


This is an Italian short film called Men VS Women - The Differences check it out, it’s cute:




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4 comments:

Tomas Karkalas said...

Thank you for the wonderful post. Your words smell like the flowers. You don't charge other but wish to understand and you are totally right.

Jacqueline said...

I LOVED this. Right on target! However, I had to chuckle a bit when one or two of the men's habits equaled mine. Too cute! :-)

Date Girl said...

Loved this post.

Thanks for your comments on my site, yes I think my guy is a keeper too, though he is a man and has many of the traits you've listed here. Just wait for my post about moving in together. And I agree, why can't men multitask? Match can't even have a conversation while he's cooking, it cracks me up. He gets in the zone!

Mitchie said...

There is a book, "Brain Sex" discussing the differences between men's and women's brains. It was interesting.

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